I am 1 week in Thailand now, in the area of Ao Nang Beach and Nopparat Thara Beach (Krabi). A lovely destination, but not what I had in mind in the first place.
I was about to live together with a handsome and very kind Portuguese man, in Torremolinos (Spain). We met on the stairs in Torremolinos and there was a special connection immediately. This was in January 2023. All went fast, maybe too fast. Maybe things were too good to be true.
The good moments passed by fast, the bad ones too. And we had quite a lot of bad moments 😔.
But, I was sure he was Mr. Right. I kept a positive mindset and kept the relationship alive.
Mid-June 2023 I went back to his place, to officially live together. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out. After two weeks I took the decision to end this relationship. That was not easy; my head, heart and gut feeling weren’t aligned at all. Confusion all over😕. Heart-broken💔, but I had to do this.
I had a short touchdown at my parents’ place (thank you Mom & Dad for being my ‘last resort’🙏). I knew it would just be for a couple of days. I initially did not want to leave Southern Europe but high season was around the corner. Places to rent for longer than a week are rare. And if you find one… it is expensive💰💰.
So… where to go to? Suddenly a voice said: Thailand. Alright. Check Skyscanner. Yes, affordable tickets. But not to Bangkok. Close to the beach, please! Phuket? No, just got there. Where else? Krabi! I found a direct flight to Kraby, for a nice price and found a really nice spot (Krabi Forest Homestay). Perfect location. Shops, cafes, restaurants and 2 beaches are within walking distance. Saya senang sekali (I am very happy) 😊.
I booked the accommodation for 30 days – the maximum length of the visa (FYI: Thailand has a free visa for most European passports😊). On purpose I booked 1 place: no packing and unpacking please for 4 weeks, I did that enough in 5 months😅.
I am here now for a week; I am here to heal my heart💜, relax and chill out🧘, enjoy the rain now and then☂💃 (yup, it’s monsoon season here) and slow down. And that’s the hardest thing.
Usually, I learn new skills quickly, but the skill of slowing down… it is a punishment.
I told myself: no to-do lists, no have-to’s, except for a few like sleeping, eating, taking a shower, going to the toilet and putting on clean underwear daily😉.
Every morning, I remind myself that it is perfectly fine to do nothing. I deserve it.
My new mantra, as I call it. (FYI: the last 5,5 months were a roller coaster🎢)
The first few days, all went ok. Unpacking, taking it easy. But now, after a week… boredom, the urge to start doing things, to pick up new things, to meet new people… to speed up🏃♀.
It’s hard not to give in to this voice, to this well-known pattern. But, I manage. I repeat my mantra daily: I deserve to do nothing, I deserve to relax and chill out.
And then I have days like today: a lazy day! I slept in, did some gentle yoga on the beach, sunbathed in the afternoon on the beach, had a late lunch, went back home, worked a bit (that’s an ongoing thing, so happy to have flexible working hours 🙌), and took a little break. I lay down on the bed. Staring at the ceiling, while observing the sensations in my body, feeling my sunburnt skin🦞, observing all the voices in my head, and observing my breathing. No action, just observation.
I dozed off for a few minutes, woke up and thought: going out for food? No, I am too lazy for it, I’ll grab the fresh-cut pineapple I bought earlier today, and some peanuts, with hot choc (yes, I love warm drinks even though the outside temperature is about 30 degrees 😉). And then I felt; let’s write a new blog.
Writing gives me energy, insights, and new ideas. And the little voices in my head are finally shutting up. And, I can practice the art of slowing down: typing slowly 🤣.
What I realize now, after writing this blog…I might not be such a quick learner as I thought I was, especially about the skill of slowing down. And that’s ok. Because better to learn a new skill slowly, steadily and properly, than too hasty and start again from the beginning 😉.
Maybe you realise after reading this blog that your life is also going too fast and you want to slow down. You want to live your life, not being lived by your life.
Give a shout-out, I am curious about your experiences and how you think you can take a step back.
Oh, and guess what?! While I was typing this, 2 snails were on my terrace (the ones in the picture); I think they were playing catch me if you can😜. Lovely synchronicity💫!
With love 💜 & light✨,